"I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me. Selah. God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!"
As Christians we find ourselves putting on mask after mask trying to cover up the messes we have in our lives because we feel like we have to have everything together in order to bring others to Jesus. I just don't understand it. Having an honest moment this ridiculous notion is the reason I haven't posted in a while because I was allowing my circumstance to define my worth and because I didn't feel worthy I didn't feel like I could share with all of you. Now that I have worked through this I realized how silly it is that I allowed the enemy to come in to destroy my confidence. To allow him to stop me from doing something that brought joy to me. Yet as I write I still am walking and experience the trials and tribulations that come along with this life. Day in and day out I find myself battling the enemy. I've been praying for two years for a job, one that is fulfilling both spiritually and financially and I'm still waiting. Keeping faith is hard to do but I realize it's the only thing I have. We all have breaking points, times in which we don't think we can go on. Moments like this where all seems hopeless. Then I remember who my savior is. He bore my cross. He wore my sin on his back so that I can live a life that reflects him. So does that mean, living a life that reflects him? I have discovered being open and transparent is what I have to do to live a life in which you see my Jesus in me. Because if you can see my pain and my suffering and yet still see my hope and my faith then you will see Jesus in me. I realized that having faith as small as a mustard see is truly a good way to describe our faith in trails yet it doesn't mean it can't grow into the might tree it is meant to be. So in this time I've been away from you I have reached my breaking point. I have found myself in the lowest of lows yet I'm still pressing on because my God is good no matter what I'm going through. So I challenge you to find the good in the valley you are walking in. Remember all that God has done for you even though it might be the hardest thing for you to do. It will restore you faith, it will help your mustard seed to grow. Just think, the hard ground has to have a breaking point so that roots can grow so allow your breaking point to produce fruit, rip away the mask and fix your eyes on the one who made them. Allow your messes to bring others to Him. For you are worthy because of who He is in you.
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